Ghetto Types. I
THE LONDON RESTAURATEUR
NOCHUM KUGELMACHER is the proprietor and manager of a restaurant, or, as he is wont to call it, a restaran. He is no scholar, as his person and loquacity fully show, and this, perhaps, accounts for the mutilated title by which he designates his establishment. In appearance he is distinguished by a general rotundity which gives him a rather complacent look: a cheerfulness of demeanor that is enhanced by his huge, greasy face, which wears a perpetual grin, and his small, leering eyes. His beard, of grayish hue is sparse on his cheeks and terminates in a shaggy pointed tuft on his chin; his broad, beaming forehead, traversed by a line or two of inexplicable origin, is surmounted by a tasselled smoking-cap of gorgeous fabric, whose glorious colors have been bedimmed by time and gravy; and his thick lips serve as an infallible index to the nature of the meal their owner last consumed. He has long ceased to fasten the three lowest buttons of his waistcoat: old frequenters of the eating-house remember when only two buttons were thus left in disuse, but nobody's memory reaches back to that far-distant age when the full complement of buttons rested within their respective holes.
Still, despite his corpulence, he can manage to amble along at a steady pace; and he is often to be seen parading on the sidewalk in front of his residence attired in a long black flowing surtout (unbuttoned, of course), his smoking cap and a pair of carpet slippers—the design on which represents a blue tiger with yellow eyes of astounding ferocity. The termini of his patrol are, at one end of the street, a large grocer's shop, before which are always exhibited big boxes of fish; and, at the other, a wine-merchant's emporium. Nochum, as he approaches the former point in his awkward splay-footed gait, directs a contemplative glance at the boxes, and on arriving there haggles with the shopkeeper about the price of their contents until the gathering of customers obliges him to withdraw. Then, retracing his steps, he ruminates on the course of the dispute, with a furrowed brow, across which he passes ever and anon a big red handkerchief that hangs out of his pocket, until he nears the other extreme of his promenade, when he obscures half the window of the wineshop with his bulky frame, gazes enviously at the rows upon rows of bottles, and sniffs the spirituous odor with much zest. This interesting occupation is soon broken off, for the sight fills Nochum with a temptation which struggles with his stingy principles and yields to them; and he returns to the depot of loaves and fishes with a look of ludicrous melancholy, and a determination to get the best of the bargain. But the grocer is also a close-fisted dealer, and refuses to bate more than a penny on every pound of haddock or on every two pounds of plaice; so the proprietor of the restaran again retraces his path, stopping for a moment or two to look in upon his own domain, and as he leans against the wine-merchant's shop-front heaves a deep sigh of despair or relief, which attracts the attention of passers-by. Embarrassed by this irritating notice, he hastens away with a flushed countenance, gasping choking and mopping his brow; and, his desperation increasing with every step, his rules of economy are thrown into disorder, and he resolves to agree to the grocer's terms. Accordingly, on reaching the aforesaid boxes, he declares his intention to the salesman, and rests his wearied body on the edge of one of them while the latter weighs out his purchase. An errand-boy then carries the scale-pan containing the fish to its destination, and Nochum Kugelmacher—exhausted by his morning's arduous exercise—limps behind with martyr-like fortitude. Before, however, following that prominent character into the interior of his establishment, it will be well to survey its outward presence.
The Berditcheo Kosher Restaurant—such is the name of the humble hotel—is a three-storied building of plain architecture. The frontage is of rather moderate width, and is unadorned by any striking emblem except that which figures on the large window on the ground floor. This is an inscription in yellow paint, in the shape of an arc, announcing the