ANSHEL, THE GOLDENA Fantastic Tale of Schnorrer Life
I.
ONE Friday night, two beggars were seated on one of the benches in the synagogue of a small Jewish town, waiting to be invited, after the evening services, to partake of Sabbath hospitality. One beggar was crippled and carried a crutch, and it is possible that he was lame. The other beggar was marked with a scar on his face, one eye was larger than the other, and one side of his beard was shorter than the other. Gossip had it, that his wife had plucked out half of his beard and had died before she could complete her work.
They were sitting not without a certain pride, for they were the only beggars in the synagogue. They anticipated a brisk competition among the householders as to which should have the pious privilege of inviting a beggar to his home. While indulging in their anticipations, they conversed:
"I'd like to be the guest of a poor man," said the scarred beggar. "The decorum in the homes of the wealthy is unbearable. You are not finished with the blessing of the bread when the meal is off the table. A few slices of bread, feathery in quality, and enough! That can't satisfy one's hunger. Because their stomachs are always full, they don't appreciate what it is to have an empty stomach. They give you a lot of sweetmeats, but you leave the table as hungry as before. I prefer a poor man's table. Whatever you get there fills up."
"You speak like a foolish boy, notwithstanding that you have buried one wife already," said the lame beggar.
The scarred beggar did look boyish in comparison to the lame beggar. He was a tall, broad-shouldered man, with a voice that emanated from his stomach, and he looked to be less than fifty. The lame individual, on the other hand, was puny, had a shrill soprano voice, and looked like a man of thirty-five.
"I'd like to be taken in by a rich man. They are tired of idleness, and let them get a stranger in their midst, they are happy. They assail him with questions. They want to knew where he comes from, where born, and all sorts of nonsense. They like to hear news of others but little of themselves.
"Well, what of it?"
"What of it? If you're a good talker and a good eater, you force them to lay aside their knives and forks, you make them gasp in wonder, while you eat every thing in sight."
As soon as the services were concluded, the householders looked about for Sabbath guests. The lame beggar was invited to the home of Joseph, a very rich manufacturer. Unfortunately, Joseph was very sleepy that Friday evening, and neglected to enter into conversation with his guest. The family ate hurriedly.
The scarred beggar was taken as the guest of a poor man. He had plenty to eat; he was even given a bed for the night, but he suffered a serious misfortune. Did he lose it, or was it stolen from him? What difference does it make? A ruble and thirty kopecks, saved from the collections of many weeks, was gone. He did not know whom to suspect. It might have been a poor wretch of a clerk, who lived