As in Shushan so in Chicago
NOW it came to pass in the days of Miss Szold (that is, Miss Szold, who reigns from New York even unto California, over forty and five chapters), that in those days, when Miss Szold sat on the chair of her office, which is in New York, the metropolis, the Chicago Hadassah Chapter, in the first year of its reign, made an open meeting unto all its members and friends both great and small, in the hall of the Chicago Hebrew Institute. On the windows were hangings of blue and white, and shades of different shades with cords of twisted twine. The couches were of wood and leather and the velvet carpets were of Brussels make. And they gave the guests food on plates of china (one being diverse from the other) and there was no drinking, according to the law, for it was Sunday.
On a pedestal sat the Queen of the Hadassahs. On her brow rested the crown—of her hat, and in her hands she wielded the gavel. The queen was wroth and her anger burned within her, for five hundred fifty had she invited and only fifty came.
"Where are they, our fair Hadassahs?" she said to me who ministered unto her. "Go seek them, maids and matrons, that they may gather together into the club of women."
And the thing pleased me and I did so. For days and nights I sought them until I found a fair young virgin, Sarah by name.
"Sarah," cried I, "come be a fair Hadassah, a myrtle, meek and mild."
"Avaunt!" cried she, "I charge you!A bolder lot for mine!Give me fun and excitement,I was not born to pine."
Beckie, alias Bernice, I sought for three nights or more. "Beckie!" I sprang at her impulsively.
“Beckie!” she shrieked like thunder, “Beckie! you impudent thing! Bernice, if you please. It’s less Jewish.” And off she went with a fling.
When Esther came to visit me, I was overjoyed, for at last I was sure of a recruit. “Esther! Your namesake Hadassah!”
"Ha-what-a?" "Hadassah! Ha-da-ss-ah."
"Quit it!" she yelled, "I'm fainting.That's sure no place for me!Say, kid, what're you running,A club or a spelling bee?"
When I met Sadie Margolis a few days later crowding into the waiting line in front of the movies, I wedged in next to her, and began to talk Hadassah. "Sadie, you should meet them," I began. "The finest lot of girls and women you ever saw."
"A club without boys,You can't make me see.Only girls and women?Then twenty-three for me."
Like Mordecai, I could have gone into the midst of the city and cried with a loud and bitter cry. But as luck would have it, I spied the fashionable Fannie. To her, who had summered in almost every resort of renown, I told of the romantic moons and of the caressing breezes of Palestine.
"What! Go to Palestine?Indeed, not I!You'd better ask grandpa,He's ready to die."
In utter desperation I jumped on the first car that would carry me to the home of my old Sunday School teacher. I could count on her to listen to me, I was sure. And listen, indeed she did. For a whole hour she listened to my tale of the new Palestine. I saw her face glow with sympathy, and when she moved to her desk and took out her check book, my heart was joyous, but it sank like lead when she said:
“Put me, my dear, On your charity list, But, horrors, child, Not as a Zionist!”
Sarah, Bernice, Esther, Sadie, Fannie, and Miss Sonnenschein—six I counted on my fingers. "Six and still not one." And yet I dared to hope. Though the six had spurned me, tugged, pulled, pushed and chased me, in my dreams that night, I awoke more determined than ever to gain recruits. Therefore the following day found me at the opening meeting of the Jewish Ladies' Charitable Benevolent Aid Society, Local No. 76, L. C. B., where I knew I would gain recruits by the score.
In a most eloquent manner I began my talk. The sighs in the audience as I spoke of the missionaries, the drying of wet eyes when I told of the little blind children, the "Oh's" and "Ah's" as I related the woes of the mothers, all spurred me on. In my mind's eye I could see them all rush toward me, and I could hear the entire Ladies' Charitable Benevolent Aid Society begging to be converted into a Hadassah Chapter. But —then the refreshments were announced—and when the refreshments arrived, the enthusiasm departed. And when I walked around with my membership cards, a volley of excuses greeted me:
"It's very sad, but I must go." "Charity begins at home, you know." "Monday? that's my washing day." "Tuesday? always whist I play." "Wednesday? that's the matinee." "Thursday? well, my maid's away." "Friday? why it's baking day." "Saturday, you don't meet you say?" "Join? Perhaps next year I may."
And that was the end of my perfect day. But it came to pass that on the third day, the Chicago Hadassah Chapter convened in the house of the Queen, and when I drew near, the Queen said unto me, "What will thou? What is thy petition? Even if it take half our time it shall be granted thee."